I have been inspired by some of the personal ads in Oxford Today to write my own personal profile for a dating agency. This is my first draft. Do you think it will have the desired effect? Suggestions for improvement (if possible) welcomed.
Prepare to be swept off your feet by this tall (but shrinking), blue-eyed, bald, slim, angular scarlet pimpernel. A suitable subject for those interested in the early evolutionary stages of the Darwinian theory. A misogynist whose understated virility has long gone, so unlikely to trouble ladies of refined taste. A stranger to etiquette, good manners and dress sense, he is justifiably modest given his lack of achievement.
Ladies, are you looking for a challenge with few redeeming characteristics? This could be just the opportunity you’ve been waiting for without knowing it.
I think this might need some polishing, but should have broad appeal. Second opinions welcome before I submit.
Sadly, not all recipients realized this was written as a spoof. Perhaps it was just too true to life!
P.S. I note in the article on the Earl of Rochester (‘Rochester’s Oxford’, Oxford Today, Michaelmas 2014, pp. 32–4) that lunchtime conversation was restricted to Greek or Latin. Even in my day when Latin was a compulsory entry requirement, this would have made for a quiet and reflective lunch!